Everyone faces difficult choices. You might be wondering whether you should stay the course in your career or leave a position. Or perhaps you’re an entrepreneur pondering whether to invest in your business or cut your losses.
On the other hand, you may be questioning how to make the right decision in a matter of love. Maybe you’ve been asking yourself whether it’s possible to fix a troubled relationship or if it might be better to sever the connection.
When faced with tough choices like these, my clients often ask me how they can possibly make such a life-changing decision with confidence. There are indeed many pros and cons to weigh when making a big decision. Beyond the initial consequences, you must also consider how your choice might impact your ability to pursue your dreams and other goals.
Figuring out what you truly want out of life is no small task. But there are at least three things you can do to alleviate some of the distress involved:
Let Go Of What You Think You ‘Should’ Do
You may be under a lot of pressure to fulfill expectations. Your parents may have placed high hopes on you and your future, whether those expectations were spoken or assumed. Your partner or family members might be counting on you. For any stage of life there are also cultural expectations. And you probably have self-imposed expectations of your own.
Additionally, you may be facing opposition from those around you. There are as many different opinions in this world as there are people, so no matter what you decide, someone is bound to disagree with you. There’s nothing wrong with taking other people’s feedback into account. But even the most well-intended advice can cause confusion. For example, a recent client was unsure of what direction to take her career. When she asked friends and loved ones for opinions, they were very supportive, logical, and creative with their ideas.
While her friends’ ideas made sense from their point of view, my client wasn’t able to overcome her analysis paralysis until she asked herself whether they made sense for her. When she let go of others’ expectations and her desire to please them, she realized that she had been fighting against the truth of what she truly wanted: to focus on her family. When she accepted, connected to, and owned that truth, she found it much easier to decide on the right career path.
2. Focus On What Matters Now
It makes sense to consider how a decision might affect you months or years down the road. But focusing too much on the future can cause anxiety and indecision. Every decision may result in infinite possibilities; some you may be able to predict while others will come as a surprise.
If all you think about is how to create a certain future, you might overlook your decision’s immediate impact. For example, the idea of having a lot of money in the future might sound great right now, but what will it cost you? In reality, now might be the wrong time to do something like accept a promotion or start a new business.
Dwelling on the past won’t help with making a decision, either. If you regret some of your past choices, you might think you must somehow make up for them. For example, you might regret not pursuing a certain passion or relationship when you were younger. If you focus too much on these past goals, you might fail to notice that your interests and priorities may have since changed. Worse yet, you might get discouraged or act impulsively.
The only thing you can be sure of is your current situation, so the best decision will be the one that makes sense for you right now. If your goals or needs change, you can always make a course correction later on.
3. Trust Yourself
Making important life decisions can be frightening. What if you don’t have what it takes? What if you fail? What if you can’t undo the consequences of your choice? If you’re feeling unsure of yourself, you will struggle to make choices. A recent client told me she had a lot of doubts as to whether she would ever be successful in anything. So instead of committing to a single goal, she tried many different things with the hope that maybe one of them might stick.
The problem with divvying up her energy in that way was that she was unable to carry any of those ideas to fruition. So in a sense, every one of them failed. This further eroded her self-esteem, making her even more scattered and uncertain. Worse yet, her friends started to view her as flighty and noncommittal—another blow to her self-confidence.
When she started trusting herself and following her intuition, everything started falling into place. She got in touch with her values and made choices that honored them. As a result, she no longer felt compelled to divide her efforts. She committed to her priorities, making her more successful. Other people saw the change in her, too. When she related her goals and ideas with self-assurance and confidence, they responded in kind.
Sometimes people may not respond in kind and trusting yourself also includes assessing the possible outcomes, challenges, and benefits of making the decision that feels right to you. This could mean acknowledging that people around you might be disappointed, there might be a financial cost to you, or there may be an inconvenience related to your decision—and trusting that you can handle it.
Self-awareness is key to each of the tips above. Before you can learn how to make better decisions, you must learn more about yourself. I hope this blog post has helped you start down that path. But if you still need help making a decision, you might benefit from professional counseling.
As a licensed therapist, I can help you get in touch with yourself and show you how to get over analysis paralysis. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation today to find out whether therapy is a good option for you. For an appointment or questions, call or text (720) 984-9575 or visit my contact page. You can also click the button below to schedule online.