Helping others is one of the best ways to help ourselves. Licensed therapist Renee Ellis explains why in Part 1 of her Living With Purpose blog series.
Frankl’s Selflessness Paradox
It’s hard to imagine keeping a positive attitude in a Nazi prison, but holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl did just that. Despite the death of his entire family and the horrific conditions he endured at four different concentration camps, Frankl found a surprising way to care for his mental health: by caring for that of others.
Following his liberation from Tuerkheim, Frankl published Man’s Search For Meaning in 1946. His best-selling book was one of the first to suggest that human potential is best expressed as part of a community and that “self-actualization” is only possible as a side-effect of self-transcendence. If you’re wondering how to find your purpose in life, Frankl says, don’t look within. Look to “something, or someone, other than yourself.”
The quote about helping others from Frankl’s book seems paradoxical but is nonetheless proven by the research: “The more one forgets himself—by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love—the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it.[1]
The Mental Health Benefits Of Helping Others
Compassion, service, and self-sacrifice are common themes in many religions and spiritual traditions. Thanks to modern research, we now know that the benefits of helping others go way beyond the mere appearance of morality. When we serve others, we enjoy a variety of psychological, physical, and spiritual benefits ourselves, including:
Stronger relationships
When it comes to romantic partnerships, is it better maintain one’s self-image or to strive for the good of your partner? Researchers attempted to answer this question in 2017 by asking participants to do one or the other in the context of their romantic relationships. They then surveyed both the subjects and their partners to find out which approach was most beneficial.
Results showed that those subjects who focused on image preservation experienced increased conflict, while those who focused on the wellbeing of their partner experienced less conflict and also felt more supported in return. The group pursuing compassionate goals also enjoyed decreased anxiety and depression symptoms.[2]
Reduced stress
The anti-anxiety benefits of compassionate actions can be measured via MRI technology. In a 2016 study, researchers monitored the areas of the brain associated with stress while subjects completed a difficult math test. Some participants provided support to fellow participants while others received it. While receiving support had no measurable impact on stress reduction, “participants who reported giving the most support had reduced activation in brain areas related to stress responses.”[3]
A fresh perspective
Have you ever wondered how to stop ruminating? If so, you’re not alone. Rumination not only causes depression but can keep people stuck in it. When you’re trapped in your own mind, the world feels small. Your thinking becomes circular, and it’s hard to see a way out of problems. When you broaden your focus by helping others, you gain access to new perspectives that can lift your mood and help you get unstuck. You’re also less likely to ruminate about your own problems when you’re focused on helping others with theirs.
Higher self-esteem
Research shows that people with low self-esteem are more likely to be depressed. To help individuals overcome depression, therapists and psychologists have long wondered how to improve self-esteem in their clients. Social service typically has a positive impact on a person’s self-worth, so finding ways to serve others may be a viable strategy for overcoming and preventing depression.[4]
Longer life
Many different researchers have found a connection between longevity and social usefulness when examining how to find meaning later in life. In one study, elderly individuals who felt like they made a difference in someone else’s life lived longer and were less affected by disabilities. Another study found that providing support to others had a greater impact on longevity than receiving social support. The physical mechanisms driving this effect still aren’t fully understood, but many suspect that decreases in stress hormones and blood pressure play a role.[5]
Knowing about the benefits of self sacrifice is only the first step. In Part 2 of her series on Living With Purpose, Renee explains how to find ways of helping others that energize and satisfy you.